Tokyo

Craig Morey
14 October 2026


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"Here, kitty kitty kitty. Come here kitty. Come have a chat with me. Come on kitty. Say something."

"...You don't actually believe that the cat can talk, do you?"

"What, you don't?"

"Of course not."

"Why not?"

"Have you ever heard it talk?"

"Franklin has. Plenty of times."

"Franklin is crazy. Like actually crazy. It's in his file."

"Davis has heard it too, you can ask him. He's not crazy."

"If he claims that a cat can talk, then yes, he is crazy, definitionally, at least in that regard. But I'm asking about you. Have you ever heard it talk?"

"Have you ever been to Tokyo?"

"What? No. Of course not. Why?"

"Do you believe Tokyo exists?"

"...That's not the same thing, and you know it."

"You believe it exists, even though you've never seen it for yourself."

"Yes I believe Tokyo exists. That's not the same thing."

"Do you believe Jeremy has a belly button?"

"What?"

"Do you believe Jeremy has a belly button. On his belly. A navel."

"Jeremy?"

"Guy on the third floor. The one with the chin thing."

"Right. Okay."

"Do you believe he has a belly button? Even though you've never seen him with his shirt off?"

"Yes I believe he has a belly button."

"Why?"

"Because everyone has a belly button. If I can't see someone's belly because of their shirt, I still know that they have a belly button because everyone in the world has a belly button. Whereas if I see a cat, on the other hand, I know that it can't talk, because every cat can't talk."

"That was a trick question. He actually doesn't."

"What?"

"Jeremy. He doesn't have a belly button. You just proved my point. You assumed incorrectly that he has a belly button even though you've never seen it, just like you're assuming incorrectly that the cat can't talk just because you've never heard it."

"What do you mean he doesn't have a belly button?"

"He doesn't. You can ask him."

"Have... have you seen it?"

"There isn't anything to see. That's what I'm telling you. It isn't there."

"But you've seen it? You've seen it for yourself, with your own eyes, you've seen him without a shirt on and saw that there wasn't any belly button?"

"That's not the point. The point is that he doesn't have a belly button, it's a true fact, you can ask anyone. The point I'm trying to make here is that you shouldn't assume things with absolute certainty when actually you don't really know for sure. Like, maybe it is true that every other cat in the world isn't able to talk, but my point is that this one here can."

"I'm pretty sure he does have a belly button."

"Look, it's not about the belly button, the point is about the cat."

"Everyone has a belly button. Jeremy has to have a belly button."

"I'm telling you, he doesn't."

"You've never seen it. You don't know."

"I do know."

"And you've never heard the cat talk, either. You're just going around spreading dumb rumors, either because you're extremely gullible, or else because you think I am. Everyone has a belly button, and cats can't talk."

"You're coming off as very narrow-minded right now, do you know that?"

"Do you believe Tokyo exists?"

"Now you're just being facetious."

"Answer the question."

"Yes I believe Tokyo exists."

"Why? Maybe it doesn't. How can you be sure?"

"No one has ever claimed that Tokyo doesn't exist."

"I'm claiming it, right now. I saw it. I went there for myself, and there wasn't anything there. Just a big empty patch of desert, right where the map said Tokyo would be. You believe me, right?"

"Fuck you."

"Uh huh."

"Just so you guys know, Jeremy does actually have a belly button. He told me so. He said he only started the whole belly button rumor so that people would know him for something other than the chin thing."

"Holy SHIT!"

"Ha! I knew it! See, I told you it could talk!"

"Jesus. Holy shit."

"Say something else! Come on kitty, say something else!"


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